What follows is a conversation George Harrison and I had about my insecurities in this new realm of life that I now live.
GEORGE HARRISON
"It feels a little like you were warming up to us and you got cold. I’ve had my issues with stage fright, I can completely understand yours. And yet when it came time I had to perform, that’s what I was contracted to do. And I imagine you are still wrestling with the idea of contracting to do this work. That's something you need to think about, because it’s voluntary, but it seems to be sitting on top of you. Because you are interested because you are willing to listen because you are willing to find the balance, you were given this gift. We’re not all right you know, not all of us. And we’re not all wrong. There's a balance there. The artistic temperament is different, we live in a different world, we answer our calls immediately and sometimes we are out of balance with that. I think you understand that concept. And I don't think that if you can frame anything in terms of worthiness that anybody qualifies to do anything. I think the question is readiness. Are you ready to do it? Do you have room for it? Are you willing to give it space? You have a desire for it, but are you really ready to step forward? You know sometimes, I couldn’t remember the next chord to play, it would just vanish out of my head but it was still in my fingers. I could still figure out with my fingers where to go even though my brain went blank. I think it has to be the same thing for you, you may say it went cold for a minute or I’m not sure but you still have to write something. You still have to say well let me get information that I can get from the other side let me see what the sources are let me understand where the story comes together how does it dovetail? No matter how much you speak to us, there’s a hell of a lot of research you need to do and that can be the place that you begin to find your footing. It's interesting that in any amount of writing or journalism or speaking about it always comes down to my truth, your truth, and then the truth that’s somehow in the middle. And that's what you're looking for, the truth that's somehow in the middle. I may say we were treated unfairly or I was treated unfairly, somebody else may say that was not how it was and maybe that's true and maybe it's not. And you are there with the puzzle pieces trying to figure out decades later what really happened there. So maybe that’s not even am I hearing it or receiving it, I think maybe it’s do I have the ability to put the puzzle pieces together? Can I get all of the information in such a big task when so many of these people are gone? And get a feeling for what really happened and who we really were. None of us are the same people that the publicists and The Machine made us out to be. We were all just human beings trying to figure it out."
George: "What's your favorite word?"
Rene': "Peace."
George: "Why is that your favorite word?"
Rene': "believe that's where you find true happiness."
George: "Can you show me a picture of peace?"
Rene: (I hold up a photo of sunrise that I love, that makes me feel peaceful.)
George: "This is a picture of sunlight and clouds, and water, where is the actual picture of peace?"
Rene': "There is no picture of peace, this makes me feel peace."
George:"AHA, that’s correct. You’re looking at something that cannot be touched. Your favorite word is of something that is ethereal. And if you can resort back to that and to say well I can’t touch peace I know it when I feel it but I can’t touch it. It’s no different than when you say I know I am talking to them I just can't touch them."
GEORGE HARRISON
"It feels a little like you were warming up to us and you got cold. I’ve had my issues with stage fright, I can completely understand yours. And yet when it came time I had to perform, that’s what I was contracted to do. And I imagine you are still wrestling with the idea of contracting to do this work. That's something you need to think about, because it’s voluntary, but it seems to be sitting on top of you. Because you are interested because you are willing to listen because you are willing to find the balance, you were given this gift. We’re not all right you know, not all of us. And we’re not all wrong. There's a balance there. The artistic temperament is different, we live in a different world, we answer our calls immediately and sometimes we are out of balance with that. I think you understand that concept. And I don't think that if you can frame anything in terms of worthiness that anybody qualifies to do anything. I think the question is readiness. Are you ready to do it? Do you have room for it? Are you willing to give it space? You have a desire for it, but are you really ready to step forward? You know sometimes, I couldn’t remember the next chord to play, it would just vanish out of my head but it was still in my fingers. I could still figure out with my fingers where to go even though my brain went blank. I think it has to be the same thing for you, you may say it went cold for a minute or I’m not sure but you still have to write something. You still have to say well let me get information that I can get from the other side let me see what the sources are let me understand where the story comes together how does it dovetail? No matter how much you speak to us, there’s a hell of a lot of research you need to do and that can be the place that you begin to find your footing. It's interesting that in any amount of writing or journalism or speaking about it always comes down to my truth, your truth, and then the truth that’s somehow in the middle. And that's what you're looking for, the truth that's somehow in the middle. I may say we were treated unfairly or I was treated unfairly, somebody else may say that was not how it was and maybe that's true and maybe it's not. And you are there with the puzzle pieces trying to figure out decades later what really happened there. So maybe that’s not even am I hearing it or receiving it, I think maybe it’s do I have the ability to put the puzzle pieces together? Can I get all of the information in such a big task when so many of these people are gone? And get a feeling for what really happened and who we really were. None of us are the same people that the publicists and The Machine made us out to be. We were all just human beings trying to figure it out."
George: "What's your favorite word?"
Rene': "Peace."
George: "Why is that your favorite word?"
Rene': "believe that's where you find true happiness."
George: "Can you show me a picture of peace?"
Rene: (I hold up a photo of sunrise that I love, that makes me feel peaceful.)
George: "This is a picture of sunlight and clouds, and water, where is the actual picture of peace?"
Rene': "There is no picture of peace, this makes me feel peace."
George:"AHA, that’s correct. You’re looking at something that cannot be touched. Your favorite word is of something that is ethereal. And if you can resort back to that and to say well I can’t touch peace I know it when I feel it but I can’t touch it. It’s no different than when you say I know I am talking to them I just can't touch them."