Tossin' And Turnin'. Not The Song. What I Did In Bed Last Night.
You know how you feel when you have the flu? So tired you just want to die; achy like you actually exercised only you didn't so there's no reason to be achy and that dull headache that doesn't go away. Pretty much how I feel most of the time. Especially the "tiredsees" the one where you are exhausted but can't sleep.
This is a relatively new situation for me, as I was a sleeper until the last few years. In fact, when I was younger, my Dad called me mattress back. Nowadays I'm lucky to get 5 or 6 good hours. This from the girl who won an award for sleeping the most. Yes, I have some mild sleep apnea but that isn't causing this, my diseases are the culprits here. Stupid highly sensitive nervous system.
Go to bed 11ish, roll around on the bed until 3ish. I even had company several times through the night as Bob the cat wanted to hang out and get some mommy love. Now Bob, really? I finally gave up and got out of bed. 3:30 a.m. Okay, so what do I do? I color my hair, of course. Put a layer of chrome with a little purple tinge and have to let it sit for one hour. No problem, I'm awake and can go water my outside plants, no rain forecast for at least a week, have to keep them hydrated. 20 minutes is all it took to water the flowers. The stuff on my hair has to stay on for one hour and I only killed 20 minutes. 40 to go. And guess what, I am getting tired. GREAT.
I decide to write, hey that'll wake me up, right? Wrong. I am trying to keep my head off the keyboard, I don't want to get hair dye all over it. 10 minutes passed, only 30 minutes now. Shit, 30 minutes. I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open. I am writing this with my eyes closed and my head hanging dangerously close to the keyboard. WAKE UP!!!!! This sucks.
I can't sit here, I have to move. I could go out into my studio and paint, nah, too tired, not in the mood. Still too dark out to do any real yard work. 4 more minutes pass, 26 left.
Re-dunk-uless the #Kardashian's would say. I like those folks. Maybe I should watch tv. Nah, nothing good on at 4:38 a.m., 22.
I am now having these stupid waves of exhaustion, similar to waves of nausea. I'm ok, no I'm not. I'm ok, no I'm not. SHIIIIITTTT. Stop this madness. Just shampoo the color out now and let's go to bed. No, it's not done yet. You have to wait the full 60 minutes because your hair is white and of course. Argghhhhh.
Remember the Charlie Brown cartoon where Lucy is holding the football and Charlie Brown is going to kick it. He says Argggggghhhh. That's how I feel. Who pulled the football out from under me. I'm ok, no I'm not.
How about a big glass of water to keep you awake. WTF stupid, how is water going to wake me up. It doesn't have anything in it, it's water! Just go get it.
OK, I'm back with my water and still have 16 minutes left. Cadee the cat is awake too and now she is following me around the house meowing. I guess she figures it's breakfast time. No Cadee. Go away. Either go to bed or go out and catch a lizard to play with.
This wave is almost over and I am becoming very close to clear-headed for a few minutes. I am sure you can tell what I wrote when I was sleep writing. Or maybe you can't. Uh-oh, does that mean my writing is so bad that the only people who read it are other sleep writers? Great. How many other sleep writers are there anyway? Maybe a lot, maybe that's a good thing. At least I know my market.
Coming up on 4:50, ten minutes to go. Still feeling ok for the moment. I know there's going to be another wave of exhaustion soon. That's just how this shit works.
4:55. With 5 minutes to go I can feel the exhaustion creeping in. I have to get this stuff off my hair and I am going to fall asleep in the shower. Not like I haven't done it before, I used to do it all the time when I was a teenager. I would lay in the tub with the shower running and sleep. Hey, it kept my parents off my back for a few precious moments of sleep. They used to wake me up at 8 a.m. to do my Saturday chores. So I would take a "shower nap". Made the mistake of telling my father I did this a few years ago. Big mistake. I will never hear the end of it.
One minute to go and I am leaving you for a few while I rinse my head. Hope I see you when I get back.
5:10, shower accomplished. I did get tired and this time a lovely wave of nausea joined in. Lucky me. Yup, this wave of exhaustion is staying with me. Now I can sleep though, right?
Can you? Or are you going to find a 24 hour Walmart?