Writer's Block-Head

Writer's Block-Head

Crap, I think I have writer's block and I have a story due to my editor. Nothing is coming. Not a fucking thought I can use to create this masterpiece of a magazine interview. That's right, interview, so most of the writing is already done for me. All I have to do is take it from recorder to keyboard. Nope. Oh, I've done all kinds of creative stuff today, even made a video about my daughter's tongue hanging out all the time. But every time I come back to try to do this article I blank out. Crickets. No, not even crickets, they abandoned me long ago.

Have I lost my writing Mojo? I hope not, it's one thing I really enjoy doing in this world of things we do every day. When I am writing I am writing, nothing else. I am as Eckhart Tolle would say "present in this moment" aware of nothing but taking the words that enter my brain and putting them on paper. Channeling some other consciousness? I don't know, I just know that I am having a shit-storm of a time writing up this article.

OK, well there is more to this than I have told you so far. The person I am writing about is an idol. Not an American Idol, a real writing idol of mine. In fact, her writing influenced me to become a writer. If she can do it, I can too, or so I thought, until today when this article is due and I haven't started it.

Self-doubt is sitting on my right shoulder whispering in my ear. I've had a lot of trouble with self-doubt lately, trying to hold me back from moving forward in life. Well, I spate him once this week, I am just going to have to find it within me to spate him again. A double spate.

After all, I can't back out now. She KNOWS this is coming, we hung out for over an hour chatting about life and comedy and writing. It's the cover story for the January issue. Yikes. That's not helping.

So I think I will try something my idol told me she does when she needs to be inspired. Go read a book by someone you admire. Thanks, Celia, I am going to do just that. I'll let you know how it goes.

Voices Carry

Voices Carry

Have you ever really thought about how you come to a decision? How many times do you end up with decision regret, buyer's remorse, whatever? Most of the time I am not really aware of the process, it just happens, but I decided to pay attention to the voices in my head while I was processing a recent decision. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Where did this idea come from?
Him: I don't know it just happened.
Me: What were you doing when it happened?
Him: I don't remember, it just started taking over my brain and before I knew it I had to find a solution to the problem.
Me: But it isn't a problem, it's just an idea.
Him: I know, but I have to solve it.
Me: No you don't. You are making a problem where there is just an idea.
Him: But how can I solve it if I don't fix it.
Me: It doesn't need fixing, it isn't broken, it isn't even born yet. It's just an idea and you have already decided it will fail before you have even given it a chance to be.
Him: No, I solved it. It won't work.
Me: You can't say that, we haven't invented it yet.
Him: But there no need it won't work. I already solved it.
Me: OK then walk me through how you solved it.
Him: I don't know, I just know it won't work. You aren't that smart. How could you invent something that no one else has thought of? If it were a good idea, it would already have been invented.

And there you have it. I wonder how many times we stop at this point, cut the bud from the flower. How many great ideas never get migrated because of our internal dialog?

I am not ending this. I am going to move forward with my idea even though my internal dialog is not on board,

In fact, here it is. Well, what I have of it so far. It isn't completely worked out because I am only working with a part of my resources. The other part refuses to cooperate, as you have seen. Oh, he'll get on board when he gets some encouragement, so I need to spread the word. Help me won't you, I need to prove him wrong.

And here's something interesting, I didn't realize until I wrote this that my "inner person" is a guy. Go figure.

But I Don't Wanna Grow Up

But I Don't Wanna Grow Up

I've finally reached that point in life where I can say I am a grown-up. Not sure how it happened but somewhere along the way I became my parents. Here are just a few of the oddities of behavior that have led me to this conclusion:

I dislike the music of today and think that the only great music was the music of my generation.

I feel the same about most television shows and movies.

I don't care what I wear to Wal-Mart.

Comfortable flats beat Carrie Bradshaw shoes every time. I don't even own high heels anymore.

Weekends are for sleeping. And I would never be out past 10:00 p.m.

Concerts are loud and people act stupid. I'd rather stay home and watch it on tv.

Ditto fireworks and every other celebration involving more than 4 people

I don't care what you think about my opinions.

Funny how your life does a 180. I don't know what happened to that girl who loved loud concerts and bars, would never leave the house unmade-up, never missed a party, and lived for the weekends hanging with friends. I guess she's still in here somewhere.

My next question would be, is this all there is? Or is this just another one of those life transitions that are supposed to help us grow to our purpose? This too shall pass?

Will I ever be "that girl" again? I sure hope she comes back around. I miss her and I know my friends do too.

We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost

Do you believe in an afterlife, that this life is merely a chapter in our book, our soul leaves this human body and takes up in another form and continues with the next chapter? I don't know, but there are people who claim to be able to communicate with the departed. Kim Russo (The Haunting of) and Theresa (Long Island Medium) Caputo are two people who claim to be able to speak with the dearly departed and until somebody proves otherwise, I believe them.

I knew there were a lot of spirit-based shows on these days, and I found this cool list of paranormal shows on a blog by Sharon Hill. I condensed her list down to more recent shows:

Title Run Years Category Channel/Network
Ghost Hunters 2004-current Ghosts Syfy
A Haunting 2005-2007 Ghosts Discovery Channel / Destination America
Ghost Hunters International 2008-2012 Ghosts Syfy
Ghost Adventures 2008-current Ghosts Travel Channel
Haunted (The) 2009 Ghosts Animal Planet
Celebrity Ghost Stories 2009-current Ghosts Biography Channel
Fact Or Faked: Paranormal Files 2009-current Paranormal Syfy
My Ghost Story 2010 Ghosts Biography Channel
Paranormal State: The New Class 2010 Paranormal A&E Network
I Survived…Beyond and Back 2011 Miracles Biography Channel
Haunted Collector 2011-2013 Ghosts SyFy
Paranormal Witness 2011 Paranormal SyFy
Long Island Medium 2011-current Psychics TLC
Haunted Highway 2012-current Paranormal SyFy
Ghost Mine 2012-2013 Paranormal SyFy
The Haunting Of… 2012-current Paranormal Biography
Stranded 2013 Paranormal SyFy
Deep South Paranormal 2013 Paranormal SyFy
Killer Contact 2013 Paranormal SyFy
Joe Rogan Questions Everything 2013 Paranormal SyFy
Psychic Tia 2013 Psychics A & E
The Unexplained Files 2013 Paranormal Science Channel
Stalked by a Ghost 2013 Paranormal Biography
The Ghost Inside My Child 2013- Paranormal Biography
Ghost Bait 2013 Paranormal Biography
When Ghosts Attack 2013 Paranormal Destination America
Mystery Map 2013 Paranormal ITV (UK)
The Curse of Oak Island 2013- Paranormal History
Haunting: Australia 2014 Paranormal SyFy
Cell Block Psychic 2014 Psychics Investigation Discovery
The R.I.P. Files 2014 Paranormal A&E CI (Australia and New Zealand)
Miracles Decoded 2014 Miracles History Channel (CAN)
Mom’s a Medium 2014 Psychics CMT (Canada)
Ghost Asylum 2014 Paranormal Destination America
Angels Among Us 2014 Miracles TLC
Amish Haunting 2014 Paranormal Destination America
Ghost Stalkers 2014 Paranormal Destination America

I find it odd that people do not like to admit they watch shows like this. There are some good quality shows like John Zaffis and Haunted Collector, as well as the hokey ones like Ghost Adventures which I refuse to watch because it is bad, did you hear that?

I am not ashamed to raise my hand and proudly state, I ain't afraid of no ghost, I enjoy these shows.

Do ghosts exist? Is there an afterlife? I don't know but if I get there before you I'll send a message through Kim or Theresa.

Did you hear that?

Who Is Really Your Doctor? 26

Who Is Really Your Doctor?

My neurologist is a very educated and experienced doctor. He understands my condition and what it takes to give me some relief because my condition is incurable and causes all sorts of pain. Why does my doctor have to ask the "insurance company" what they will allow me to have medically performed or prescribed to keep me in good health?

Real conversation that I had with one of my doctors:

Doctor: The insurance company won't pay for your Botox treatments to control your migraine condition. They say you are not getting enough pain-free days to justify the cost.

Me: What? How do they know how many days I have pain-free? Nobody's asked me how I feel every day.

Doctor: They say you must have an improvement of at least 7 pain-free days or 100 pain-free hours per month.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to know that? If I get the Botox to eliminate the pain how do I know how many hours a month I would have had pain? OMG, I am so confused. I am getting a migraine.

I know he is disgusted with the way things are in the medical/insurance scam that we call health care, but he has dedicated his life to helping people and he's not going to give up, he's just resigned himself to do what he has to, to help his patient.

While the insurance folks are getting richer, we get sicker and broker, trying to get relief from conditions that the insurance company has deemed too expensive to treat on a regular basis. You have 30 pain days a month, we will give you 6 pills a month that will make you feel all better.

And now I am getting a migraine.

Dog And Cats And Rainy Days 25

Dog And Cats And Rainy Days

   
I am the fur mom to 2 dogs and 6 cats. We also have fish, but I didn’t count them, no fur, unless you count that ick stuff they get that looks like cotton on their bodies, then they have a lot of fur, icky fur. OK.

Something happens to my sweet little animal family when it rains. We have the critters as well as me and B-Dubb, in a two-bedroom apartment. Most of the time it’s fine, everyone has their place: Sylvester in the closet in the big bedroom, Bob on the shelf in my bathroom, Lily on top of the kitchen cabinets, Gray at the bottom of the bed, Cadee in the window. Oh, and Sammy, who has several homes from the look of his portly girth. He’s with his other family right now. The dogs, Sally and Kiki, both of the yappy-bark breeds, are sweet little gifts from God and they are usually under our feet. Until it rains.

Nobody will go outside. I don’t care how bad they have to pee or poo, they refuse to get their feet wet, so they pace around the apartment, snarking at each other cause everybody’s gotta go.

Really? Tell you what, how about you all stay in the house while I go outside and wait for the rain to stop. I’d rather get wet than sit in the house with you all right now. Later.

Hello, It's Me 24

Hello, It's Me

Been a while, eh (for our Canadian friends). Well, I got sucked into the black hole of writing for someone else and not for myself. Good news, I am back.

I'm actually glad I took this hiatus from writing for myself because I learned a lot. Let's jump right in, shall we?

First I must address some current events that are stuck in my craw:

Jodi Arias - Really? She did it, she admitted she did it, what are we arguing about?
Kim Khardashian and the rest of them - their claim to fame is?
Honey Boo-Boo - this one makes blood squirt from my eyes. And she has 3.5 million viewers.
I can't believe The Bachelor is still on.
I never got "The Big Bang Theory."
Why do we dislike those that are not like us?
Why do we hold a grudge over things that happened before we were born?
Is enough ever really enough?
Why are people so against medical marijuana, a natural substance that can help many people deal with many illnesses?
We are going to lose the ability to relate to each other face-to-face because of texting, email, and social media. The worst thing I saw today was the shooting at Florida State. Everybody was on their cell phone either documenting the event or talking to loved ones. Everyone was in their own little world instead of working together to figure out how to stay alive.

Wow, I feel better already. Gotta take this re-entry slow. More later.