Reluctant Grandmother
I was a reluctant grandmother. Yes, I said it. I was a 44-year-old executive in banking and flying high on the freedom of the empty nest. I was a divorced woman with two grown children—and looking for love (in all the wrong places, of course), while trying to move up the corporate ladder.
Boom! My unmarried daughter was pregnant. So many emotions welled up in that instant, as I tried to to digest the words. Confused, I questioned how it happened. Duh! Then I hit denial (“This can’t be true, she’s too young and not married, there must be a mistake!”). Then it turned around to bite me. That meant I was going to become a grandmother. At 44.
I was so horrified at the prospect of having a “grand” in front of “mother” that I did not consider the wonderful event that was impending. Selfish? Yes. But it was my turn, and I knew it would impact my life in a way I did not want, in a way that reminded me I was getting older.
I was a grandmother to a beautiful little girl we named “Danielle” March 13, 2000. I felt the shift in the hospital when I first laid eyes on this most beautiful baby. I was a grandmother—at only 44. I realized what a gift I had been given—”doubly-blessed,” I would say. I was young enough to be able to keep up with the little one (right!) and she was yet another person for me to share my life with. Isn’t that what life is about? Not prestige, money, or dating younger men (do not judge me). It’s about the unconditional love that one person has for another.
Little more than a year later, we were blessed again—this time with a boy, Tyler. His birth and the birth of Kylie in 2005 elicited the same feelings I had when Dani was born: What a wonderful gift of unconditional love.
For me, being a parent and a grandparent is about standing back and watching my daughter raise her children. I see her go through the same struggles I did in raising her and her brother. Sometimes I smile. Remember the “Mother’s Curse”: “I hope when you grow up, you have children that act just like you!”
I still prefer to be called “Nay-Nay,” a name I came up with to avoid being called “grandmother” (again, don’t judge). But these days my reluctance is replaced with pride at being able to say, ” I am their grandmother.” LOL
Boom! My unmarried daughter was pregnant. So many emotions welled up in that instant, as I tried to to digest the words. Confused, I questioned how it happened. Duh! Then I hit denial (“This can’t be true, she’s too young and not married, there must be a mistake!”). Then it turned around to bite me. That meant I was going to become a grandmother. At 44.
I was so horrified at the prospect of having a “grand” in front of “mother” that I did not consider the wonderful event that was impending. Selfish? Yes. But it was my turn, and I knew it would impact my life in a way I did not want, in a way that reminded me I was getting older.
I was a grandmother to a beautiful little girl we named “Danielle” March 13, 2000. I felt the shift in the hospital when I first laid eyes on this most beautiful baby. I was a grandmother—at only 44. I realized what a gift I had been given—”doubly-blessed,” I would say. I was young enough to be able to keep up with the little one (right!) and she was yet another person for me to share my life with. Isn’t that what life is about? Not prestige, money, or dating younger men (do not judge me). It’s about the unconditional love that one person has for another.
Little more than a year later, we were blessed again—this time with a boy, Tyler. His birth and the birth of Kylie in 2005 elicited the same feelings I had when Dani was born: What a wonderful gift of unconditional love.
For me, being a parent and a grandparent is about standing back and watching my daughter raise her children. I see her go through the same struggles I did in raising her and her brother. Sometimes I smile. Remember the “Mother’s Curse”: “I hope when you grow up, you have children that act just like you!”
I was a reluctant grandmother before, but I never have looked back or regretted one single moment of my life with my grandkids. They remind me that we are all here for a short time, and life is supposed to be fun. They are growing up way too fast. Dani is 15 and driving! Tyler is right behind her at 14, and Kylie is 10. I make it a point to touch base with them on a regular basis and I realized that they keep me young—something I never considered when I was agonizing over their impending births. They are my fountain of youth.
I still prefer to be called “Nay-Nay,” a name I came up with to avoid being called “grandmother” (again, don’t judge). But these days my reluctance is replaced with pride at being able to say, ” I am their grandmother.” LOL