First Crush - Sometimes You Can Go Home Again

First Crush - Sometimes You Can Go Home Again

I remember it well, that feeling I would get on Thursday afternoon, knowing that in a few short hours I would see HIM. He was in a band and they played at a bar every Thursday night. And I thought he was the cutest guy I'd ever seen. He was older: 23 to my 17, which was a pretty wide gap at that age. He was ahead of me on the "life" scale having already graduated school and holding down both a job and the gig with the band. And I was still a virgin. I was sure he was not, especially since he "dated" a girl that also hung out with the band and she informed me one teary evening in the bathroom of the bar where they were playing that night, that he de-flowered then dumped her. (I later heard from him that this was not the truth, her "flower" was not intact when they "you knowed".)

He treated me like I was a little sis or something; we became friends and would go to breakfast after the band finished playing at 2 a.m., (back when I could stay up that late.) He took me to a Guess Who concert and once he came to my house to play tennis. Too bad I really didn't play. What's even worse is that years later, about 40 years, I found out that he KNEW I wasn't a tennis player. I was so sure I had fooled him.
When I was 18, I gave up on him and shortly after met the man I would marry, have two kids with then divorce when I was 27.

I saw him once during that time from 19-25, his band was playing near where we lived and my then-husband and I went to see them. We spoke, it was pleasant and I didn't hear from him again until several years ago when I found his band on Facebook.

I have thought about that first crush many times over the years; luckily more times than I have re-hashed the crappy first marriage. Wondered what would've happened now knowing it wasn't my path in life or his for that matter.

We are talking more now, catching up on the last forty years, discovering what we do and don't have in common, it's nice. Sometimes you can go home again.