Hello, September 13th is Grandparents Day!
“You are not my child and I am not your parent. We are bound together by our mutual relationship with my child, who is your parent.”
Relationships between grandparents and grandchildren are unique.
It's a conversation I recently had with my 10-year-old granddaughter, Kylie, the youngest of my three grandkids. She spent time with me during her summer vacation, and we were in a deep discussion about family dynamics. Kylie loves it when I tell her stories about her mother's childhood. I enjoy the trip down memory lane, too—especially with the child of my own child.
I was doing some research in preparation of writing this article during Kylie’s visit. She asked if she could help. Kylie is a chip off NayNay's block; she loves to write. So, we decided to collaborate on the assignment to cover Grandparents Day. (And, hey, what better way to get your message across than to lead by example?)
Grandparent’s Day is not any usual holiday. In 1970, Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, a housewife and community leader in West Virginia, began a campaign to set aside a day to honor the grandparent. McQuade and her husband of 57 years, Joe, devoted their golden years to making the observance truly meaningful.
To be clear, it isn't a Hallmark holiday, invented to sell cards and flowers. McQuade wanted Grandparents Day to be about families enjoying small, private gatherings or participating in community events together. McQuade’s intentions were clearly thought-out:
Honor grandparents.
Give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children's children.
Help children become aware of the strength, information, and guidance older people can offer.
In 1979, President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. In 2015, it will be celebrated on Sunday, Sept. 13.
National Grandparents Day gives us a chance to recognize the importance of grandparents. It is also a day of giving—sharing hopes, dreams, and values and setting an example, even advocating for future generations. In cultivating the bond between grandparents and grandchildren, observances can take any form, whether it’s preparing the family’s favorite meal together or showing younger kids how to use a real camera, not one attached to a phone. It’s about recollecting memories—and making new ones.
Kylie and I find that sharing a hobby connects us. Currently, I am teaching her how to raise fish in an aquarium. Along with aquarium talk, we exchange stories about our family and lives. We work to incorporate storytelling into our dialogue during each of our visits.
“It's important to share family stories with kids," LOL reader and Grandma Shelagh Clancy agrees. "It gives them a sense of identity and belonging. My granddaughter, Ana, is still little, but I like to tell her about when her mom was small. Ana gets a kick out of the notion that her mom was a baby and I was her mom! I also like to share songs and jokes with her. She thinks 'On Top of Spaghetti' is hilarious.”
Perhaps one of the most invigorating parts of grandparenthood comes with the insight into a child's mind once again. Their imaginations soar, especially when encouraged and valued. Grandma Chrissy Cadogan agrees.
“The best thing [I've encountered as a grandmother is] teaching them to look at the clouds and see the pictures in the them—the little things in life,” Cadogan notes.
Seeing grandchildren take on wisdom and knowledge, and repeat it in their own way, is an amazing gift for any grandparent. Kylie and I are training a new addition to our family: a 5 year-old Chihuahua we rescued and adopted. He is a wonderful little soul. Kylie just adores him, but he needs to learn the ways of our home. I recently overheard her conversation with “Weezie” about barking, and it was almost verbatim to my earlier training. I couldn’t help but chuckle over this moment. I realized firsthand the example I was setting for this little person, a task already accomplished with her mother, but somehow different from that primary relationship. In fact, most grandparents will probably agree: It’s just different with grandkids.
For many, a grandparent is not always directly related, either. My husband, Brian, is Kylie’s step-grandfather—and they couldn’t be closer if the same blood pumped through their veins. They enjoy each other's company.
"The time I spend with my grandkids is absolutely precious," Brian says. "We teach each other about life. For me, they are a new audience, I can tell my life stories to—especially since my wife has heard them all."
He and Kylie often spend days at the park, exercising the dogs. "Such energy!" he excites. "She loves spending time with us and I get to know what little girls are made of since I have no grandkids from my [biological] son.”
”I love my NayNay and Mr. Brian," Kylie says. "I love to spend time at their house with all the animals. My favorite time is when we look at pictures, and NayNay tells me stories about my mom and us when we were little. It makes me laugh.”
It makes me laugh, too. And that’s what it’s about for my family. Laughing, loving, and enjoying life—sharing the wisdom of all ages. It truly is a gift that just keeps giving.
More so, it adds value to our lives when we take the time to open up to our families and remind each other where we've been and imagine the future ahead. It can make a difference to all grandchildren in seeing their elders for who they are. As for me, well, nothing delights my grandkids more than seeing me rock out to Pink Floyd or Bon Jovi. They are amazed I was young once—more so, even that I did some of the things they do, good and bad.
Happy Grandparents Day from our family to yours.
My maternal grandparents Earl and Atlantic Rebecca.